Monthly Archives: November 2011

My Date with Two Men

I finally got to meet the boys in person!! Woohoo! We basically got to spend the whole day together on Sunday.

After flying in Saturday night, the boys met me Sunday morning at my church for worship. I enthusiastically greeted each with a hug which, in hindsight, may have been a bit too enthusiastic. What can I say? I’m a hugger! I introduced them to some friends of mine and they sat with my family and me. As per our normal worship, we were invited to stand up and greet our neighbors. I think the boys got to see why I was so eager to hug them: I come from a hugging church! Most of the folks who greeted the boys were more reserved than I was and chose to just shake their hands. I let them introduce themselves but didn’t explain to those who don’t regularly read my blog just exactly who they were, and no one really asked. Except one. One man asked how it was that we knew each other. I smiled and told him I was going to be their surrogate and the man smiled and said, “Great!” It felt good to hear (and to have the boys hear) that my a random person in my church was instantly pleased to hear what we’d be doing together.

After church we headed to Disneyland, just the boys and me (well, ok, Dad was there too, but only for technical reasons). We spent about 7 hours there riding rides, eating and just getting to know each other. And it felt GREAT! It was like I was reuniting with long-lost friends. Conversation flowed fairly easy (considering English is not their first language) and we talked about EVERYTHING! They talked a lot more about themselves because they’ve been reading my blog and they felt like they already knew so much about me. I had such a good time with them and am sad that they had to leave so soon.

I cannot wait to get this surrogacy under way (well, technically I can. I have to. My paperwork doesn’t get signed until Friday). These two are going to be fabulous parents and I look forward to continuing this relationship with them!

I wish I could show you their handsome faces, but to protect their identity (as per the legal agreement), I can’t. :( But believe me, we had a great time!

Thoughts – November 27, 2011

Today was the first Sunday our new Interim Senior Minister participated and preached in our worship. Part of his sermon included asking the congregation to tell the person sitting next to them a brief story of when they last saw God or an act of God in their life. Now, I’m not one to usually see God in my own life, but today I had no problem identifying one.

My dad’s parents both have Alzheimer’s and as such we had a separate Thanksgiving dinner with them on Friday so they wouldn’t have anxiety from being around people they didn’t know. As usual, the conversation was quite looped, both of them commenting over and over on the new floors my dad just finished installing and asking if they’d ever been to my parents’ house before. But my God moment came as we finally sat around the dinner table.

Grandpa prayed.

Grandpa said the same type of prayer he always said at any holiday dinner: heartfelt, thankful and proper (thee and thy).

For one short prayer, God brought my grandpa back.

And that is what I am thankful for this year.

My not-so-serious Christmas dilemma

The last couple of days I haven’t been able to get Christmas out of my head. Not (just) because every department store except Nordstrom’s is blasting the holiday music already, but because Christmas falls on a Sunday this year and it’s throwing my core belief system off-balance.

I’m a firm believer in attending church on Christmas when it lands on a Sunday. You stop opening presents, you change out of your Christmas Eve pjs and you get your butt in a pew. If you consider yourself a Christian and your church is having worship on Christmas Sunday, you go to church!

Here’s my dilemma: as of last summer, “Jake” now has “Em” from 2:00 PM Christmas day until the night before school starts again…

If Em flies to her dad’s house, she can take a 5:05 PM flight out of John Wayne airport and be at his house around 8:00 PM; there are no earlier flights on Christmas day after 2:00 PM. If Jake chooses to drive down and pick her up, then they’ll leave town at 2:00 PM and not reach his house until 8:00 AM the next day at the earliest if he drives safely.

My stress is this:

I haven’t heard from Jake on his pick-up plans for Christmas day. Lately he doesn’t talk to me or respond to anything unless it’s Em calling him in response to his text message to me asking her to call him. And every time they talk, Em and Jake talk about how much closer Christmas is, but never about how she’s going to get to his house. I don’t know if he’s already purchased her airline tickets yet; if he hasn’t, it’s gonna cost him a pretty penny to do so closer to Christmas (currently nothing less than $300 round-trip). If he pulls what he pulled last year, I won’t know for certain when she’s coming home and I’ll have to pay half of a very expensive last-minute return ticket because he didn’t plan (again) in advance. But, at least I’ll be able to spend Christmas morning with Em and my family and still attend church.

If Jake chooses to drive down to pick up Em, then do I still go to church in the morning? My Christmas morning with Em will either be shortened or we’ll have to get up a couple of hours earlier than usual. As it is, I don’t go to bed on Christmas Eve (or, rather, Christmas morning) until around 2:00 AM because I attend the 11:00 PM service at my church on Christmas Eve (non-negotiable in my mind), then have to wait for Em to fall asleep before Santa delivers her presents. Getting up an extra 2 hours (the average worship time including post-worship mingling) to guarantee that I get a decent Christmas with my daughter would probably mean I’d be functioning on half of my brain cells.

A part of me wants to talk with Jake about his travel ideas for Em, but knowing that he doesn’t like talking to me and has yet to discuss anything about Christmas with me, I kinda just want to wait until he starts the conversation. As a father of two in his 30s, one could expect that he would already have the round-trip plane tickets purchased (being that Christmas is just a little over a month away) and he’s just so busy with his infant son that he’s forgotten to send me the confirmation email.


Probably time to start saving money now to bail out his butt when he realizes that the plane tickets are so expensive and I’d rather pay half than get to deal with Em’s realization that her father has, once again, been late on the planning aspect of his time with her and her hopes of meeting her little brother are dashed.