“I love you.”

“I love you more.”

“I love you the mostest.”

“I love you to infinity!”

Today on the way home from my mom’s house, I asked Em to tell me the definition of love.

She thought about it for a good three and half minutes.

“I think love is kindness and thoughtfulness.”

Using my tricky parenting ways, I stayed silent. I hoped that Em would continue her thoughts, and elaborate more. It worked.

“I think love is when you really care for somebody.”

I agreed with her, “Yes, but I think it’s a bit more than that. I think it’s when you care for somebody more than you care for yourself.”

Immediately, Em agreed.

And then she blew me away.

“On the news today, they were talking about a person who dropped a bomb, and another person trying to protect somebody from it. And the person saved the other one, but he died. I think that is love.”

I love you, Em. I love you to infinity.

Em was referring to today’s story about Leslie H. Sabo, Jr.

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I stopped taking my birth control pills last Tuesday (woohoo!). Gone are the headaches in the evening and the nausea in the evenings.

This week my needle usage will increase from 7 to 11! In addition to my daily Lupron shots (which I get to decrease to .5mg), my wonderful mother will be administering Delestrogen in the upper, outer quadrant of my gluteal muscle (yup, top of my butt) every three days, starting tonight. I have to draw the drug into the 1mL syringe with a 18 gauge needle and inject it with an 22 gauge needle. It’s a small amount, only 2mg, but it can be painful. To counter the pain, I usually ice the spot where she’ll inject the hormone until it’s numb and then put a warm compress on it afterward. During my last cycle, this helped tremendously in reducing the pain and lumps that can occur with this injection.

The point of taking the Delestrogen is to increase the thickness of my uterine lining. By forcing me to have a menstrual cycle (dropping the BCP) and then starting me on Delestrogen, my doctor can control how thick my uterine lining will get. The thicker the uterine lining, the stronger the chance that the embryo will “stick” to it and result in a pregnancy. In my surrogacy support group on Facebook, the gals all send “sticky vibes” to each other when they head for the transfer.

Another blood test at the end of this week to monitor my estrogen level and see if I need to increase the amount of Delestrogen I’m taking or if it’s working fine as-is.

Only 3 more weeks!!!

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I present to you, in no particular order, the top 7 reasons to date a surrogate

1. It’s not likely that she’s going to go all marriage-trigger-happy on you

Surrogates dealing with international ”intended parents” have a contract that prohibits them from getting hitched from the date they signed the contract until six months after the birth of the child; some countries have obscure laws that would allow our would-be husband to stake a claim to the child, regardless of the lack of DNA proof. Even if she’s not helping international parents, she’s going to be so busy with her day-to-day life, her own kids, growing a person and loving on you that marriage won’t be at the top of her list. So breathe easy and know that she probably won’t be ”pinning” table linens and flowers to her Pinterest boards and try to drag you down the aisle in a couple of months.

2. It’s not your fault she’s pregnant

There are two  gems to this one! First, when your girlfriend is in labor, she won’t be yelling, “You did this to me!!!” between contractions. You get to be the loving, supportive coach (if you want), without worrying she’s going to secretly hate you for this. Second, you get to be in on the joke! It’s always fun to have people assume that you are expecting a child together and to have the boyfriend say, “Oh, it’s not mine.” That little moment of pleasure when you see the looks on people’s faces is priceless. And then you can help spread the word of surrogacy by telling people the truth and facts behind your little joke.

3. That baby isn’t yours and never will be

Dating a single mom can be tricky: you’re trying to decide if the woman likes you for you  or if she’s just looking for someone to help support her already-existing child. And when you find out the woman you’ve been chatting up is pregnant: whoa, Nelly! But this time, you don’t have to try to figure out if you’re ready to deal with a messy, noisy, demanding newborn just yet. When that baby’s done cooking, it doesn’t come home with you!

4. Your girlfriend has a good heart

A woman changes her lifestyle, takes medications that can make her a bit  emotional, carries at least one child in her womb for 9 months and then gives the baby(ies) to the rightful, eager, excited and joyous parents that weren’t able to do this by themselves. Damn, that’s pretty cool.

5. You won’t accidentally get her pregnant

Between the hormone injections she takes to stop ovulation and then being pregnant, you and your girlfriend will be safe from the constant worry of “is she? did we? what if?” Sure, there’ll be a few times during your relationship when she will be told not to, but that can just help make intimacy that  much more intriguing!

6. You know that it’s possible for you to have kids together in the future

You’ve got a woman who’s proven her ability to “be with child” at least once, if not more. Surrogates have to have had at least one successful pregnancy and delivery in their past. Of course, you’ll want to check with your girlfriend first to see if she even wants more children of her own, but there’s no doubt of her ability  to carry your offspring.

7. You know she’s healthy

A surrogate must be tested for just about everything under the sun: STDs, cancer, genetic defects that can make pregnancy and delivery hard and/or dangerous and sanity. Yup, a thorough mental exam is done to make sure they’re not a crazy wacko who’s going to steal the baby after it’s born or have a complete meltdown and be mentally and emotionally scarred for life. So not only are you dating a “clean” person, you’re dating a sane one. At least until the hormones kick in.

So if you’ve ever wondered if dating a surrogate was right for you, or you know of someone who you think would be just perfect  for that surrogate you know but you weren’t sure if it would work out because of the surrogacy, what are you waiting for?!?

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My point is, I wasn’t popular and I knew it. I never ran for any student office, though I was voted into some positions (class secretary because I didn’t mind writing and you could actually read my notes). I never had a huge gaggle of friends who rushed to me during recess or break. And I didn’t care. I was am an introvert. Not shy necessarily. I’m just not a big “people person.” Big groups of people wear me out faster than two back-to-back Zumba classes.

“Em” is an extrovert. She is energized by attention (though she doesn’t always seek it, and can sometimes feel embarrassed by it like her mom does) and big groups of people. In the past 2 years of school she’s had a couple boy-friends, boys who like to give her flowers or little gifts. We’ve had the discussion about relationships and how any physical relationship at her age is completely inappropriate, and she’s embarrassed every time a boy gives her something, but she doesn’t reciprocate either the boys’ feelings or gift-giving.

Em always has a lot of friends of every gender and her upbringing at home, with my parents and in our church has given her a sense of compassion/who-cares when it comes to kids being different. Em knows that I think it’s ok to bend the gender rules (as evidenced by her choosing to be Darth Vader for Halloween last year) and so it came as no surprise to me that she has a really good friend at school who prefers Barbie dolls over monster trucks. She thinks he’s just fun regardless and doesn’t think it’s a big deal, or a “deal” at all.

Em’s personality and charm seem to keep her surrounded by many different types of people, kids and grown-ups alike. So, really, it shouldn’t have come as any surprise to me that today she was elected “Classroom President” in her 2nd grade class.

Every child had their name on the ballot, they made campaign “buttons” for themselves last week and they all voted today. There are 32 children in that classroom. The teacher instructed them to vote for anyone they wanted, even themselves.

Em voted for her friend “Laura.”

23 other children in her classroom voted for Em.

Had it been me that had been elected Classroom President, I know that my cheeks would have been as red as cabernet sauvignon and I likely would have turned it down.

But Em? Em’s beaming!

And while the duties of Classroom President are very light (filling in for the student of the day when absent or just away from the room at the moment), it’s a big, BIG moment for Em.

And I’m left wondering…

Am I going to be up late nights helping Em finish campaign posters in high school? Do I need to buy myself a shotgun to keep the boys away?

Are there any Disciples convents in the United States?

Em’s extroverted life is going to end up shoving ME out of my comfortable, introverted bubble.

Oh goodness.

P.S. WAY TO GO, EM!! WHILE I CAN’T IMAGINE BEING IN YOUR SHOES FOR EVEN A SECOND, I’M SO, SO VERY PROUD OF YOU!

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