Earlier this week it occurred to me that I have never dated as an adult.
Or, at least, I never really gone on a date as an adult.
I dated “Adam” a few years ago, but we’ve been friends for so long we just went immediately from friend status to boyfriend/girlfriend status. There was no dating with nervous nights out, dimly lit restaurants, flowers and the whole bit. We just were.
The last true “date” I went on was back in high school. Dating is different when you’re almost 30 from what it’s like when you’re in high school.
At least, that’s what I assume. I really don’t know.
I’m going on a date this weekend. I really like the guy, and we’ve known each other for a few years, but life has always been in the way and we never had a chance to really get to know each other and see if we might want to date.
Thinking about it right now, I’m kind of nervous. But I’m hoping that by spending a few hours before the date with a bunch of gay guys at a pool party, my nerves will eventually calm down. (No, seriously. I’m going to a fundraiser for the Gay & Lesbian center of Los Angeles, but it’s a pool party full of gay guys.)
I just don’t really know what to expect on a date. What makes it a date and not just hanging out together? Is it the clothes, the shoes, the perfume? Will there be handholding? Should there be hand holding? A kiss?
Should I be prepared with a list of questions about his childhood, his family, schools he attended, favorite music, alcohol, dislikes?
The only thing I’m really clear about is that I won’t be spending the night. Aside from the fact that I’m not that kind of girl, I can’t! It’s in my contract: any new guy I’m with during my surrogacy has to be screened by the clinic first before we can, ahem, do it. So at least I won’t have to worry about that! (And a plus: because we’re already friends, he knows all about my surrogacy process and knows that I’m pregnant! No awkward, “Hey, so, I’m pregnant…” discussion.)
It’s just a new experience for me, dating as an adult. And I don’t know how it is for him. I can only guess, from the way this date came about, that it’s been a while for him as well. (And if he’s reading this: I’m sorry. It’s just a guess!)
The only thing I do know for sure (and yes. I’m saying this especially because he might be reading it, but mostly because it’s true) is that I really really want this date to go well. I really like this guy, and I think it can work between us. I just hope that the nervousness on my part (and maybe his) will fade away quickly and give way to a very fun date with much promise for future dates!
Wish us luck!
After I’d composed this post but hours before I published it, I’d been texting with my sister about my nervousness. At one point she tried to say Nonono, but her phone changed the word. Essentially, laughter is the best medicine, and my sister is one of the best nurses.