I Think I Went On A Date With Forrest Gump

D and I had been chatting back and forth for a few weeks. Nothing too serious, didn’t talk about much in particular, just casual things: the fact that I was getting a new couch, work meetings, etc. He seemed nice and not in a hurry to send me an X-rated picture that many men in the online dating world seem to think is appropriate after a couple days of talking.

Yesterday, at 3:00 PM we decided to meet up. I told him I had a church meeting, but should be available after 8 or so. We were going to see a movie, The Conjuring (great film, by the way, whether horror films scare you or not). I left it up to him to pick where and what time.

When I discovered that I was one week early for my church meeting (at least I wasn’t late!), I sent him a text to let him know that I was pretty much available any time. He replied back with “8:15 at the block?” I said sure and headed out of the house around 7:40.

Note: he picked the time.

D 7:45 PM: “I didn’t give myself enough time. Is the 9:45 one ok?”
Me 7:48 PM: I just arrived
D 7:50 PM: “Shoot ok. I’m going to hurry still waiting for clothes to dry

Hmm…ok. He knew when we were going out nearly 5 hours ago… Well, at least he’s being honest and upfront.

D 8:17 PM: “So sorry almost there”

…for an 8:15 movie…

D 8:34 PM: “I’m here”

By this time I’ve been waiting at Cafe Tu Tu Tango with a clear view of the theater ticket booths. I’ve already ordered a drink and have been chatting with the wait staff about what’s going on. I have to assume that “I’m here” means he finally pulled into the parking lot somewhere because I can’t see him.

Just as I finish my sangria, he spots me and walks up to my table. Looking like this:

I just felt like running





Well, pretty much. The hat he wore was a USC hat and instead of a rain jacket he wore a tattered and old-stain-worn grey USC sweatshirt. But his face and hair were almost identical. Nothing like his profile picture.

And do you remember how frightened and awkward Forrest was when Jenny took off her bra back at her college dorm? Pretty much the amount of eye contact I got from D for the 5 minutes I sat there with him.

I couldn’t take it anymore. 30 minutes after our movie started he comes up to me looking like he ran here from his house (in clothes I’m almost certain didn’t come straight out of the dryer), hair looking like he hadn’t washed it in weeks and he didn’t even apologize or make any attempt at conversation. I’m sorry, he did ask me if I wanted to see the 9:45 showing and seemed perplexed that I wasn’t willing to hang around that long.

Forrest’s mom was right: you never know what your gonna get.

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