If I Look Confused

Every summer I take a day off. It always happens the day after “Em” leaves with “Jake” for her visitation with him. I never know how I’m gonna feel the day after she leaves, so I play it safe and remove myself from normal life just in case I’m not a pleasant person to be around. Sometimes I’m fine, sometimes I’m a wreck. This time, I’m walking around with a frozen look of confusion.

Jake planned to attend Em’s dance recital Sunday afternoon and then leave immediately after to start their 18 hour drive to his house. While I was in worship he sent me a text asking if we could talk alone before he left with Em. Uh oh.

We talked during intermission at the recital. He commented on my weight loss (woohoo!) and told me that he’s working on his weight since we was just diagnosed as having…

He couldn’t get the word right. It took a few tries before I finally just made a guess based on the number of syllables. Diverticulitis? Yup, that’s the one. Something about the way he couldn’t even get the right sounds to come out makes me doubt this. Just another drama attempt to make me care. Nice.

Then the real talk started. He’s gonna have a little boy soon. The woman is in her third trimester and he didn’t want to say anything to Em until it was closer. He and the woman were gonna live in her grandparents’ house, but that fell through when her brother was caught spending the grandparents’ Social Security checks at the nearest casino. So Jake is still living with his folks. I noticed that there was no ring on his finger and he didn’t mention impending nuptials, so as far as I can tell it’s nothing more than he’s having another kid.

Although, it does sort of explain why he’s stayed with his current employer for such a long time. Other than the Marine Corps, he’s not had a job for more than a few months at a time for the last 7 years.

And here is where my confusion set in:

WHY is he just now deciding that he needs to man up and provide for his kid(s)? He’s had a PHENOMENAL kid for 7 years and it takes an illegitimate kid (not judging, just a truthful statement) to kick his ass into gear?

If this upcoming child is enough to make Jake focus on “making good,” will he try to “start over” with junior and leave Em in his wake?

Or will we truly see a change in him for the better?

So confused. And trying not to focus on the “what-ifs” my mind is coming up with at record speed.

One thought on “If I Look Confused

  1. Krissy

    Michelle-it will be his loss if does. I know I’ve only met your daughter once, but she seems like a great kid. Very smart and quite the dancer! :) she has the love from you and your family, and that seems to be doing great!


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