Tag Archives: bad pickup lines

My Clock Ran Away With My Period Key!

9/13/13, 9:03PM

“hi how are you doing this evening”

9/13/13 9:05 PM

Watching Doctor Who with my daughter.

9/15/13 9:07 AM

“that’s sweet umm I like that one show called doc the lamps with a cane I’m I’m hoping I get the right name other than that what’s your name my name is Robert I’m watching Will Ferrell with blades of glory it’s a comedy DVD laugh out loud tell me something about yourself what are you looking for on this website here for a relationship wise I’m just searching for the right woman”

Hey, y’all! What channel is ‘doc the lamps with a cane’ on? SMH

Elementary, My Dear Suitor

Today’s ‘Bad Opening Line’ comes from a good friend. She, too, is trying to navigate the world of online dating and felt inspired to share a recent message from a potential (or not-so-potential) date. This is shared with her blessing.

“Your cute, our babies would look amazing”


“Sorry i thought this was match.com not grammer 101”

I’m fairly certain my daughter’s class was taught the difference between ‘your’ and ‘you’re’ in the third grade, if not earlier. Lord help us if it’s not taught until freshman year of college, which I’m assuming this guy hasn’t completed yet, based on his ‘grammer.’

Oh, and I loved the beginning of his profile:


I’m a good guy that’s looking for a good girl who’s loyal, honest and Fun. I set high standards for myself and I expect the same from any girl that I’m with. Other than that I’m an incredible dancer with amazing biceps which are complemented by my stunning good looks.…”

I didn’t even know that there is a difference between ‘fun’ and ‘Fun,’ but I’m pretty sure my friend is ‘Fun.’

If you’ve got a ‘Bad Opening Line’ you’d like to share, feel free to comment on this post or send me an email.

Oh, I Misunderstood Again, Didn’t I?

“lets have fun”

Great idea! I haven’t played Monopoly in ages!