Tag Archives: stress

Lazy or Efficient?

I hate shopping. I’ve said it before and anyone who’s gone shopping with me knows it all too well.

So now that Em is changing schools and moving up to the upper-grader world, I had a TON of shopping to do to prepare her for G.A.T.E. in the 4th grade: school uniforms and classroom/school supplies. As soon as I knew Em was accepted into G.A.T.E., I did some research and found that Walmart has a section on their website that will tell you what colors your school has deemed appropriate to wear. So with the exception of a couple items (which I found at Target’s website), I had all of Em’s school uniforms for the next year ordered; they’ve been in her room for weeks, waiting for Em to return from her dad’s house.

Earlier this week I got a call from her new school asking me to come by and pick up her registration paperwork. Included in the packet was a list of things she needs on the first day of school and things the teacher needs for the classroom. Knowing that Em returns today and school starts this coming Wednesday, and knowing our combined schedules, shopping for – and FINDING – everything we needed was going to be a challenge if not a stressful experience for me. Remember, I hate shopping.

So, I went to my beloved Amazon. I don’t know why I delayed for so long enrolling in Amazon Prime, but it was one of the best decisions I made this year. Because when you get a school supply list one week before school starts and you HATE shopping like I do, Amazon Prime quickly becomes your best friend.

  • Small Post-it Notes
  • Red pens
  • 2″ binder
  • Highlighters
  • Stapler
  • Blue Pens
  • Pencil sharpener with lid
  • Binder dividers
  • Colored Pencils
  • Scientific calculator
  • Two-pocket hole-punched folders
  • Scissors
  • 1″ binder
  • Pencils
  • Markers
  • Lined paper
  • Black pens
  • Disinfecting wipes
  • Kleenex
  • Erasers
  • Spiral-bound notebooks
  • Printer paper
  • Pencil pouch (no boxes allowed – huh??)

Most of these items were eligible for Amazon Prime. I ordered all of them on Wednesday, it took me all of 15 minutes while I watched a Doctor Who episode. And all but 2 items will be on my doorstep before school starts Wednesday morning.

Call me lazy, but I like to think of myself as efficient. I know what stresses me out and I know how unhealthy that is for Em and me.

The Next Step

Yesterday I hit a quasi-state of acceptance. While I still cannot accept that Brad and I are unable to work out our differences, I have to accept that he will never want to try.

Most of my heartache comes from feeling desperate to do anything to repair the relationship we had, but my pleas have gone unacknowledged. I have to accept that Brad no longer wants to pursue a relationship with me and that’s that. To chase him any further could cross the line into obsession and stalking – and that’s not healthy for me or our potential future friendship.

So while I’m still upset and hurting, trying to figure out what I could have done differently, I’m not going to try any of those ideas. No longer will I check Facebook Messages to see if he’s finally replied to my last message to him. No longer will I check my blog stats to see if he read my latest post. No longer will I hope that every sleek, black car I see on the road might be his. No longer will I dream that he will just appear on my doorstep one evening and sweep me off my feet with a kiss that says he loves me and that promises we will try harder and we will make this work. None of these things will help me to move forward in my life.

It takes two people to make a relationship work and if only one person wants it, there’s nothing that can really be done. I can’t keep doing this to myself, wishing and hoping and praying that he will finally decide to take me back.

I have to move on. Even though I don’t think I have much of a (romantic) future ahead of me, I have to focus on Em and her future.

I don’t really know what the next step is, but staying right where I am isn’t going to help.

Simple Math

Word problems in math can be a bit confusing. A popular e-card that floats around from time to time explains the trouble we can have with word problems.


It seems that word problems aren’t only for the classroom.

Three things in your life are causing you stress. One of them is far away and cannot be removed by anything but time. The second is close – in your face daily – and will soon remove itself. The third is also close but randomly changes from stress to satisfaction and back again. You need to remove a stressor but can only remove one. Do you wait for the first and second to go away on their own? Or do you remove the third because it’s the only thing you have control over.


What if the obvious answer isn’t the one you want? What if you’re afraid removing the wrong one will cause you more stress? Sometimes the solution to a math problem isn’t a positive answer. Some tests will let you skip a problem and return to it later. But often in the exam called life, you cannot solve the next problem until you have answered the one before it.

So, what will it be? Stressor #1? Stressor #2? Or Stressor #3? Will you choose the one you have control over? Or will you wait until the other two resolve themselves? Can you wait that long?

Or is the answer something similar to what intelligence assessors look for: creativity and out-of-the-box thinking to come to an answer no one had proposed before?